There's Only One (?) Way

Matthew 7:21 “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.”
This seems to contradict what I was taught as a child, and another verse somewhere (James maybe?) that said that good deeds are like filthy rags.
I was always taught that you had to “confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead” in order to be saved (Romans…something). But here, it seems Jesus wants his followers to lead lives that follow God’s will.
But how can we know what God’s will is?
I hear my parents always saying (to an extent) that I’m leading a life against God’s will. I’m not following his plan. I shouldn’t be homosexual.
I work with teens, some are troubled, some are not. I have a committed relationship with one person whom I love dearly. I feel that I am a very spiritual person, and that I try to do what’s “good” and “right” – and, personally, the best I can to do what’s right in the eyes of God.
How then am I living against His will?
I was also taught that if you confess – even just once – you’re saved forever…no matter what you do afterwards. I think this troubles my parents now. I became “saved” when I was young, so according to their rules, I’m saved now.
I don’t know. This verse seems to be very much like an instruction: lead a good life in the eyes of God. Do His will.
I need to pay attention to what others say throughout the Bible.

No One Mourns the Wicked: Matthew 2

What a fantastic villain Herod is in this chapter – killer of babies and newborns. This is some fierce business that’s paired up with the birth/childhood of Jesus. Alas, I’ll get there in a moment.

We begin with the Wise Men (not Kings, as states the song “We Three Kings”…heck, not even three, really) who are eager to find the King of the Jews because they saw his star. They stop by Herod’s place to ask him where they could find him…and perhaps it’s only me, but I always imagined this to be a private meeting. Kind of like they strolled/rode up and knocked on the palace door and asked, which really seems illogical now that I think about it.

Instead, I think it was more of a public question; as if they asked it in front of numerous people because “[Herod] was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him.” I can’t imagine that some dudes from a foreign land show up, ask where the new king is, and the king tells his whole people, “Hey, some guys are looking for a king besides me. Your thoughts?”

Maybe he was giving a speech, and they politely raised their hands: “Excuse me, we’re looking for the King of the Jews. Can you point us in the right direction?” And maybe there were gasps and chuckles.

So Herod reasonably asks his top men for help: where could he find this “king”? They pull out the big intelligent guns and tell him, “Bethlehem, in the land of Juda.”

Fantastic. So Herod returns to the wise men: “Soooo…how long ago did the star appear?”

Sneaky bastard.

Bless the wise men for telling him. Bless their hearts. I bet they were the type of people who saw innate good in everyone. Naïve. Gentle. Lovely people. And easily manipulated by the king.

The wise men are off to find Jesus, and Herod starts plotting -- at least, that's what I was taught as a kid. But it doesn't actually say that. It isn't until the wise men sneak back to their country without stopping by to dish about the Jesus family that he decides to kill children.

So why does he kill the children? Is it to protect his throne or does he have severe anger management problems to being ditched? I'll get there in a minute.

And, of course, how do the wise men know not to go back to Herod? A dream. And it seems they ALL had a visit from God this time in their dream, not just one of them.

"And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way."

Then our man Joseph has another dream (see Chapter 1) and is told by an angel that he should flee to Egypt. Again, I wonder, why not tell Mary, too? Why does Joseph get all of the messages? And does he explain to Mary why they have to go? I wish there was more dialogue.

Their job was to wait in Egypt until Herod was dead. Now, looking at the Old Testament God, couldn't he just strike Herod down? Send fire from the sky? A series of plagues?

Oh wait. That reminds me...

Remember when Moses was in Egypt trying to save his people, and God told him that he would be killing all of the firstborn of Egypt if they didn't follow his instructions?

What's with killing children? I don't understand the necessity for it. Are we supposed to fear God even more because he can striketh his people down? And why is it so much worse that Herod does it than God? It's still the death of many innocent, young lives.

And I know that the verses say "Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet, saying, In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not."

So should we blame Jeremiah? If Jeremiah hadn't said it, could the outcome have changed? Was this "simply" to fulfill prophecy?

There are two more dreams at the end of the chapter: the first to Joseph (of course) to tell him that Herod was dead and they could return, and the second to tell him to avoid a certain area because of Archelaus (Herod's son). They end up in Nazareth, and that ends our chapter.

My thoughts:
1. I wonder how many people are taught at a young age about the killing of the two year olds. I was, I remember even watching a cartoon (seriously), which included it. But it's such a terrible event to pair up with Christmastime...

2. Joseph certainly has a lot of dreams. What about Mary? I know she's visited by an angel before Jesus is born, but no dreams that I can recall. I wonder how many people in the New Testament have dreams in which they are spoken to by God / an angel of God. It's pretty common in the Old Testament, but the New Testament is a whole other kettle of fish.

3. Why don't we know what happens in Egypt, or how long they are there? There had to be something significant about Jesus' raising that would benefit future Christians...

The First Noel: Matthew 1

Hello, everyone. I've finally arrived. It's been a crazy few weeks (many weeks) but I made it. Here are my initial thoughts about Matthew:

We begin with the genealogy of Jesus, which as a child, I certainly glanced over to get to the "good stuff"; here's the finale:

Matthew 1:17 "So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations."

I never thought of "fourteen" as being a very biblically symbolic number -- I guess I was expecting twelve or seven or forty...fourteen. I guess it's a multiple of seven...

And now we get into the birth of Jesus (which we will see over and over again, of course)...here are a few lines

"18Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
19Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily."

What does that mean, "make a public example"? Is that a nice way to say she'd be the town whore? Would she be killed for a child out of wedlock? Would she be a public mockery? And what stopped her from being a perceived one anyway? Did they go around and say, "No, no it's okay. She's giving birth to God's son. Duh." I mean, I guess when he marries her, everyone assumes the baby is his, but still. Don't they have a sense of timing? But, then again, whose to say that God didn't allow Jesus to be in the womb for ten months instead of nine so that people wouldn't talk. Who knows?

"20But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.
21And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.
22Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,
23Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us."

As a grown adult, and as someone whose father has said that "dreams are our way of putting our mind's garbage out," I wonder about this. How does he know it's DEFINITELY an angel of the Lord? Aren't we taught as little Christian children that Satan is often in disguise? How could he be sure of this?

Last week, I had a dream about Jesus -- that I was talking to him. These things just don't happen anymore, right? So why should I believe it was ACTUALLY Jesus when it could have just been my psyche telling me to get back to work on this blog, or something of that nature?

I wish this conversation with the angel was more of a dialogue. I would like to hear Joseph talking to the angel, wondering, "What the heck did I get into?" It would make him more human, I think, to be scared of the repercussions of this. Here it just looks like he's blindly following a dream vision, which nowadays is unheard of. I guess I just can't relate.

"24Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:
25And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS."

Notice, people! Firstborn son! So many people think that Jesus is her ONLY son. He's not. Jesus had brothers from Mary and Joseph. Can you imagine having Jesus as your older brother? It's bad enough for younger siblings needing to live up to their older sibling's legacy...I can't even fathom what it would be like to have the Saviour as my older brother.

"Why can't you be more like Jesus? HE doesn't complain about taking out the garbage."

----
I have read more than this, but I don't have time to write the thoughts yet -- will update later with more chapters.

jacob was the founder of a whole new nation, thanks to the number of children he had

it's funny because the most i knew about jacob before today came from joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat and one line in bullet the blue sky by U2. but his story is pretty intriguing. also interesting when comparing the story to East Of Eden which in some ways is a reinterpretation of the story of Cain and Abel, but which reminds me slightly more of Jacob and Esau.

there are always questions in my mind when i read these stories where one brother is blessed above the other. and that always seems to be the case. God favors Abel's offering over Cain's, calamity ensues. God favors Iaasac over Ishmael, calamity ensues. God favors Jacob over Esau, calamity ensues. It just seems like one brother is always getting the short end of the stick. (or in joseph's case, 12 brothers were getting the short end of the stick)

so does God play favorites? eh, maybe that is too harsh. it's not as if he completely cursed the other brothers. but he always made it clear that he had great plans for one over the other. in Jacob and Isaac's case he came right out and informed their mothers that their sons were to do great things. that kind of stuff surely didn't stay secret. and rebekah was conniving and crazy trying to ensure "God's will" came true.

i think we've all seen this too. where life seems to be so hard for one sibling and come so easily to another. i even see this between my brother and i. i'm social and outgoing, and he's very quiet and reserved and has never kept a large social circle. but the reality is, he's the better friend between the two of us. he's loyal and honest, and has clarity of vision. he loves people fiercely and honestly. but yet friendships have always been difficult for him to maintain, and i've usually had them in spades. why is it that he, who has so many superior qualities as a friend, hasn't encountered the same group of loving individuals i've been fortunate enough to meet? is God favoring me and not him? if the thought has crossed my mind, surely its crossed his?

don't get me wrong, my brother is blessed in many ways. he just got engaged yesterday! but he has still had to struggle in ways i can't even imagine. why is that, i wonder?

but perhaps he has a greater capacity for the struggle, and i'm weak comparatively. perhaps that's why i've been so insulated.

anyway, back to jacob. the old testament still weirds me out with all the wives, and all the sleeping with the servants. seriously? what's that about. then at one point leah "hires" jacob for the night. are you for serious? polygamy is so foreign to us i guess that it's hard for me to imagine this situation.

there were a lot of good lessons to be learned out of the story, though. most of all about patience and what happens when you act out of impatience. rebekah's impatience ended up causing her son to move away for two decades and caused a bitter divide in her family. jacob's patience eventually persisted in getting him the wife he desired (rebekah). and jacob's patience and finally relenting to god's will eventually allowed him to return home and reconcile with his brother. upon which his daughter was raped and his sons massacred an entire village. wah, wah.

so i guess it's true what they say...you can never go home again. because your daughter will get raped and your sons will massacre an entire village.

it's been almost a month

and i'm only a few more chapters into genesis. right now we're getting to abraham. i just got through reading the 80,000 names of people that were born in between noah and abraham, and have always been a little curious as to why some people's names made the list and not others?

also, some thoughts on the tower of babel. it's funny reading this story as an adult, because it's only about 3 graphs long. in effect it just seems to be another example of god punishing man for working for his own purpose versus god's purpose. but really, what would we ever end up accomplishing that was great enough to compare to god's creation of the universe? *shrugs* but maybe i'm missing the point. the corrective action wasn't to prevent competition, it was to redirect the ambitions of man.

but there are some weird things about that story. for instance it talks about how god redistrubuted people. so did he just pick them up and move them? or did he start creating famines, etc. to send people in search of new lands. also, how did the division of languages work? did it go by bloodline? or at some point you just didn't speak the same language as your brother?

fast forward to abraham. our first introduction to him is interesting. god asks him to move. and when he gets to where god tells him to move there's a famine. wah, wah. so he goes to egypt and then tells his wife to lie and say she's his sister so they won't kill him to get to her. when he gets to egypt, pharoah is hot for sara and gives abraham a bunch of goats. but then *cue shakespeare* a plague falls on pharoah's house.

a few things. so, in less than twenty chapters, we've seen man's fall from grace, the earth destroyed by flood, and then the tower of babel. then all of a sudden, egypt just appears! with this all-powerful leader, the pharoah. and there's no explanation! it's just very weird. i mean, theoretically, noah and his folks repopulated the earth, right? so why wasn't there any mention of the fact that his descendants went on to form a ruling dynasty in egypt?

i suppose that stuff isn't pertinent because the pharaoh isn't an example of one of god's servants, and the bible is primarily made up of people who served the lord or who directly defied him. but still. there are a ton of questions there. these are the types of things that chip away at faith. it's the details. maybe they shouldn't. but sometimes i wish there was more detail or explanation. i suppose that's the conflict.

anyway, pharoah is punished (with the plague) for abraham's lie, which i also find upsetting. granted, not sure where god comes down on the whole harem thing, so maybe there's some logic from that point of view. were people allowed to have multiple wives back then? seems like they were. (marriage ‡ man + man or woman + woman, but could = man + woman + woman + woman? though the women would not be married to one another. which is weird.) but then again (we haven't gotten there yet) abraham takes a second wife later and things don't end very well...

to be continued....

homogenous genesis

so reading genesis is kind of difficult in that i've grown up hearing the creation story, so it's a little easy to just skim over. first day, watery expense, day, night, done. second day water seperates, land's here, done.

so it was all kind of run of the mill until i hit on something i honest to god do not remember ever reading. i am going to look like such an idiot for this, but turns out in the creation story there are two trees. TWO TREES! A tree of life and a tree of knowledge. Crazy. CRAZY. also turns out that the tree of life, i believe, makes a guest appearance in revelation.

a couple of observations: first the bible i'm using has turned out to be perfect for me as its little study guide is relatively progressive (which i am too), essentially folding in that evolution and creationism (or the idea that there is a creator) are not mutually exclusive.

also, and this is what i really appreciated, they emphasize that god created man in his own image. meaning that both genders possess the characteristics of the creator and that neither gender should be held in higher esteem than the other (this likewise applies to different races, etc). thus my title: homogenous genesis- we're pretty much all the same.

one of my favorite, kind of sad parts of the first chapter is when it says the lord was walking through the garden looking for adam and eve, after they've eaten the fruit. this presents such a juxtaposition to that all knowing, all seeing, retributive god that seems to appear shortly thereafter. i remember growing up and thinking how cool that would be, like the supreme being wants to hang out and watch monday night football or something. but it turns out adam and eve already tucked into the buffalo wings. so the big man is betrayed. he's hurt. and retribution must follow.

i also like that this story seems to definitively answers the question of free will. following it we see that god gave adam and eve the choice to hang blissfully in the garden, or to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge. i mean, he asked them not to, but the choice was always there.

this is something i feel that i identify with strongly. maybe all of us do. i have some serious, serious vices. food and men are the chief ones. and i kind of always feel like i know what's best, indulging in those vices when i've been warned against them. the parameters are there. i just choose to ignore them. wah, wah.

the hardest part for me to accept, and i think i will always struggle with this, is this idea of satan. satan's there, tempting eve. if i'm being totally honest i have a really hard time believing in satan. that's right, i said it. evil, i can see, i mean you only have to turn on the news to see that there is pure, unaldulturated evil out there (poor jaycee lee duggard and elizabeth smart can provide firsthand accounts). but as for this chief evil being?

i think i grew paranoid because as a child my parents painted this picture of beealzabub (how can you take that name seriously?) tugging at my strings and causing me (and them) to do bad things. as i've grown i just find that harder and harder to believe. but maybe it should actually be easy for me to believe because then i could write off the depravity of man. after all, wouldn't it be nicer to blame satan for the things that happened to jaycee lee and elizabeth smart than beings that are the same species as i am?

homogenous. that's scary.

alright, more later. off to dinner.

also

two funny things:

one:tonight i'm going to salman rushdie give a reading from an essay about not believing in religion.

also people who read our blog are called "followers." ha!!

in the begining...

there was the blog...

ha ha. so, as libby c. said, this was inspired in part by julie and julia. and in part by me being a heathen! well, both of us really.

libby was raised in a very conservative household, myself slightly less so. although the connotations of "southern baptist theological seminary" raise the hankles on most now, when my parents went there it seems like it was a really chill place. a place wherein the main focus was that christ died for us. emphasis on ALL of us. gay, straight, promiscuous, alcoholics, puritans, vegan, gun-toting, quran-quoting, "jesus paid it all."

over the years it was easy to become really embarassed over my faith. after all, the people who represent it these days aren't cool people like JC and the disciples (though as libby points out, the disciples could kind of be dunderheads...), it's people like Jim Baker (ok, maybe that's a little dated), or people who blow up abortion clinics. so i spent the better part of the past 10 years slowly drifting from what i was told day ONE on this earth. jesus loves me. this i know. :)

a lot of that changed last november when i went to israel. baptists don't ascribe much meaning to relics, and since the locations of events like the crucifix and the last supper are in dispute, it was hard for me to get really excited about those places. but the place where i really felt the lord's presence was on the sea of galilee. (or lake galilee, it's not really a sea) it was one place where i knew, for certain, jesus had spent time on this earth. because of the very nature of water (which goes up to the sky and returns to earth, sound familiar?????) it was very easy to feel close to him in that space.

i'd be lying if i said i didn't feel kind of lame and a little intimidated to start this blog. it's public. people can find it. and even though i'm not about to get a jesus tattoo or whatever, it's kind of the first time i'm actually saying outloud what i know (or think i should know) in my heart.

for libby this is about finding relevance in scripture for her life. that is partly what this blog is about for me. but this is also about actually READING the bible, so that when people try to use it as a weapon against me or against those i love i can actually know what they are talking about. :)

it should also be stated from the outset that i wholeheartedly believe the bible is divinely inspired, but written by man. and speaking as a writer, and an editor, i know what it is like to take "creative license." hopefully throughout this journey i'll see more (through the bible and other books i encounter along the way) of what this means.

ok! i should probably work now, the editor next to me keeps giving me kind of dirty looks.

go team canada!

Libby's Introduction

Perhaps I should begin with an introduction of myself. I’m Libby Colorado, a 27-year old Christian lesbian.

Let the hate mail begin.

I grew up as a Born Again Christian, and I went to church more times in seventeen years than some adults have in their whole lives. Women in my assembly wear headcoverings (thanks, Paul), and are not allowed to lead worship, singing, or prayer in any way (thanks again, Paul).

Thanks to Julie and Julia, Hillary and I decided to embark upon a spiritual quest of sorts: read the Bible in a year.

Admittedly, I’m starting this biblical adventure in a strange place: not at Genesis, like Hillary, but at Matthew.

I have no desire to read the Bible “in order,” because my purpose in completing this 365 day journey is for my own spiritual awareness. I have no connection to Genesis right now. I need something different.

I need to start with the Gospels.

There is a certain comfort I have in knowing that with Jesus there with them, the disciples still fucked it up. Crass? Yes. True? Yes. Jesus was there, talking with them, explaining to them, reiterating ideas for them, and the Gospels repeatedly state, “But they did not understand.”

It is pleasant to know that even when Jesus was around, people still did not “get it.” I need to focus on those stories. I’m going to post my order later tonight or tomorrow.

We begin on October 1, and we end on September 30, 2010. Here we go.

Hello out there...

Here is a test to see if this thing's on.